Intermission

Before I continue with my photo essay, I'd like to answer one question that Ive been getting for a while now.

Do you have a boyfriend/Are you dating?

The simple answer being, if you were my friend, would you be asking this question?

Those who know me would know me well enough to know how much I hate this question, and how much it insults me. It implies that being single is a fault, that one should be in a relationship to be happy and that its something that everyone should have. What is bloody wrong with being single and why must everyone always ask me if I have found a boyfriend already?!?!

First, consider the facts. I have just moved to another country where I know no one, have to find a house and a job and pass all my subjects after not studying for at least three years - lets be honest, since college, since I never really studied for my last attempt at masters. Considering all that I have to go through, do you think I have time or want to add yet another complicated factor to my already challenging existence?

Second, its not that I have anything against relationships. Its not that I dont want one someday or that Im bloody lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that, to all my dyke friends). Its just that right now, its not in my priorities.

Third, Must you all ride on the bandwagon that is being promulgated by the chick magazines that we all read that say, "it's okay to be single!" like being single is a crime that everyone needs reassurance for since its not normal or its not okay to be without someone or that its something you have to remind women to be proud of. Its a natural fact of life. Can everyone get over the whole "its okay to be single" thing and the whole "do you have a boyfriend because you should be in a relationship because it makes you really really happy" thing? I know it does, belive it or not I had one once upon a time ago. And it's cool that you're in a relationship, I have nothing against them, Im genuinely happy for you and I will support you all the way. At the same time though, Thank you for wishing your happiness on me but its not the end of the world that I dont have one, and its not the only way to acheive happiness.

Fourth, Get a life. I spent four freaking years with everyone linking me up to every single man I have been friends with and I am sick of it. All my friends are men. Get over it. If you want to see me with someone just to see me fall because Im such a fucking butch of a bitch then you're gonna have to wait and get in line because its not gonna happen anytime soon and Im not gonna do it just to make you happy. And yeah Im probably gonna get all mushy and girly and all that but y'all arent gonna be around to see it anyway because you're not here.

Fifth, If you cant think of another question to ask (either because the FAQs have answered them all or what), then fucking make something up. Im sure there are other questions to ask in this world, like the capital of burkina faso, or my favorite color, or cool spots to visit here or what else im doing in my life!!! Hello, there is more to life than being in a relationship!

In short, let me all assure you that if I do get one and I find you worthy of this information then I will tell you about it. In the meantime, it is safe for you to assume that the presumed partner does not exist.

In the meantime, the next person who brings this up will do so at their own peril.

If I offend anyone with this message, I offer no apologies. You try being a person who is happy to be single for a really long time and have people keep coming up to you and asking if youre in a relationship and why youre not in one.