Lessons from my Childhood

Last night, as my super creative and crafty housemate was helping me make Bucephalus, the cardboard cut out horse for my law presentation (yes, I know, I'll explain later), we started talking about the stuff we learnt as kids. Her mom teaches 4 year olds in the IS in Jakarta and she was telling us how they always had to take the glue away from the kids because they always used too much glue. This was after I overlined the end of Bucephalus' mane and squished it onto his head. I was telling her how we had sewing and ballroom dancing as children in school.

In primary school we had to learn how to embroider because, I presume we were little girls and still not old enough to use sewing machines unattended. I remember the style of teaching in my old school as fairly critical and very authoritarian (and no, for my old chums, it wasn't just Miss Manila). I think the style of teaching is very different now, I remember I quite used to get reprimanded for doing things wrong, when now everyone is a lot more encouraging and focused on positive reinforcement vs negative. I do remember a lot of our primary school teachers were kind of masungit (cranky? Pia, you write copy! what's this in english?).

I remember in 4th grade we had to make bags out of basketweave, the ever infamous material and exhibit our sewing prowess by sewing different rows of embroidery stitches on the front and then sew a peace themed design on the back. The first row was running stitch, then backstitch, etc. This is quite possibly the only subject my best friend Jenny has ever done badly in, because she never finished her bag as she just wouldn't do it. Now she's like, completely an expert at all mommy-related things, simply because she's creative (not that she has any kids). I on the other hand, totally cheated all the way. My mother realised that I couldn't sew, and so the women in my household - then my yaya, my lola and my cousin Loudette - took it upon themselves to help me finish my project. I think sewing is the only thing they ever really took over. Everything else I pretty much did on my own, with minimal assistance.

The thing to do in fourth grade was to use funky colored thread. I had been given this aqua blue thread by a friend, I remember this distinctly, as I think it was the same friend who got me, the Barbie hating one, to play Barbies with her. It was the funky kind that started out in bright aqua then along the line it faded to white, like those tie-dyed shirts. I ran out of thread in the middle of the line where we were supposed to demonstrate our mastery of the "Cross Stitch" and then completely forgot and submitted the whole bag with a bunch of crosses not Xed.

In my freshman year in high school we had to make a jumper in sewing class, with real machines. I absolutely refused, as it was this flowered thing that you cut out, measuring your own shape and sewed together. Like it would ever really be worn. I think I just passed sewing class, and the jumpers got put to good use in Music class - when each group had to reenact a musical and my group did the Sound of Music. As I was the boy (again) I got to wear shorts and fake leiderhosen (i think someone lent me suspenders. or at the very least they were shorts with a long sleeved top and a blazer) and there was no need for me to ever complete that jumper.

Now reminscing aside, it occured to me as I was using too much glue that the reason why I thought I couldn't sew and do all these things was simply because I was told I couldn't do it. As a child, I think in my household, it was automatically assumed that if I couldn't do something, it was either done for me, or I was told I couldn't do it. I have since discovered that barring a few things (like coloring within the lines 100% of the time) I can do anything I set my mind to. Which is why technically if I choose to sew, I can sew and if I chose to crochet, I could crochet (my beloved lola did all that for me...), and possibly if wool didn't make me sneeze I could knit. Seriously, people can do anything they set their minds to, barring any health or other people related reasons (i.e. if you needed another person to help you accomplish whatever and that person refused, like lets say someone had to, i don't know, lend you their priceless picasso for an exhibit or something).

I with that I had known this when I was five. Or fifteen. Or even when I was twenty. I could have done so much more. But I guess it was different when we were growing up- the style of parenting (maybe it was just my house) and teaching was more authoritarian, and maybe I was just too afraid. I think over the years I have grown braver - or possibly taught myself to be more brave- and that coming here opened up a new world for me. That and a few seminars I have taken over the years have encouraged me to try everything, within reason. I know that there are some things I'll never do - like you're never going to get me to see a horror movie and I will never ever in my life ride any theme park rides that go up and down, also I don't think I'll ever crochet, its too boring - but I do believe there's a lot more things that I can do. I may not end up being a master at them, like I can swim but you know, I suck, but at least I can say that I've done them, that I've tried, and maybe I'll even keep trying, if its something I like.

This, in a scary way, combined with that musical I saw last weekend, called Babies - which was about what babies think and feel from 0-2 weeks, acted out by an amateur teenage production - kind of shows how much influence parents and other authority figures have on our lives as we are growing up. I mean, I don't blame anyone but myself for my lack of will to try when I was a kid, but really, there's a lot that people do that they don't know have affected others. In the musical the "babies" sing a song called "Blank piece of paper" as soon as they are born, and they talk about how when they are born there's literally nothing there, and there's a line of five babies, and five different kinds of parents singing (e.g. hippies, yuppies, country folk, etc.) and they each give the kid a gift, like a stuffed animal or a football and its like, from being "blank" that's the first thing they get and it starts from there. And I thought it was really scary how parents really just can mold a child without really even trying or knowing what they're doing, and how much influence exists. Thank God I don't have to think about this again until I decide I want to be a parent and actually go about producing one. (Which won't be for a while...)The musical was very enjoyable though, it was fun and funny and although the sound system was kind of crap - sometimes you couldn't hear them and we were in the third row - it was pretty good for an amateur production. I also got free tickets from work.

Bucephalus is done. He is part of our role play for our group presentation in law class. He was made from brown and black cartolina, which in this country cost me about 7 dollars. We are reinacting a case, where Bucephalus was bought by Margaret who needed him for a horse breeding business. Bob, the seller's representative told her that he was fit for breeding and that "he has sired 5 champions". (I have read this case so much I have memorized the lines) She then signed the contract even though the terms in it said nothing about breeding. They also struck a seperate deal where she said, "i'll give you an extra 1,000 if you can guarantee he has no bad habits or vices". Margaret got the horse and found out that he was sterile and that he bit people. We are supposed to give her legal advice in the form of our presentation.

And that's why last night my housemate drew me a horse and we cut it out and used lotsa glue :)